Did somebody say Spring Break? I think they did! It's been my dream for years to go tooling around the country with no real concept of where I'm going or what I'm gonig to see. Consequently, when my friend Chris suggested a few months ago that we take a road trip for Spring Break, I was ecstatic! Unfortunately, that plan fell by the wayside for a while, no one thought about it at all... Then one day, my friend Michelle suggested a road trip and I remembered the musings of Chris and myself about spending a week totally out of sorts with no real concept of direction or location.
So now, as it stands, I'm going on a freaking road trip! Chris, Michelle, and myself shall set out on Saturday afternoon in a generally westerly direction. The plan, at least as I see it, is to stop around Knoxville on Saturday night, then cary on to Memphis on Sunday, maybe we'll actually wind up in Arkansas before the night is over, who knows? From there, we'll go to Little Rock and hang a left toward Dallas. We'll stop somewhere outside of Dallas Monday night and maybe spend part of Tuesday exploring there, then we'll head toward Austin and San Antonio. At San Antonio we'll hang ANOTHER left toward Houston and stop somewhere along the way. Wednesday we'll explore Houston and the surrounding areas a bit before moving on to Baton Rouge. Thursday we'll explore Louisiana in all it's glory and then begin heading back toward NC. We'll stop in Montgomery Alabama Thursday night and then high-tail it to Asheville on Friday where we will spend a couple of days showering and relaxing before switching to the little Saturn we just got from my Uncle and driving back to Raleigh.
This trip is by far the coolest thing I have ever done and I am really looking forward to it. I wish there were a few more people going with us to help with gas/food expenses, but I suppose the van would get a little cramped with too many more people in it. Nevertheless, I really look forward to spending time with Chris and Michelle on the road, I hope we don't drive each other crazy :).
On a slightly more depressing note, I have a FUCKTON of work to get done between now and Saturday, so I guess I really should get cracking on that, but more on the trip later!
<3
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Putting it off...
I've spent the better part of the last 16 years of my life procrastinating. I put EVERYTHING off until the last minute, when a large project is assigned, I don't commit to a design plan or topic until days or even hours before the due date. I know that I'm going to wear myself out trying to get everything done this way, but still I continue. It doesn't really matter to me that I'm going to spend 15 hours working FURRIOUSLY to get whatever needs doing, done; the point is, the 15 days that I've known about this assignment, I've done nothing. I've sat around drinking, watching TV, going out on Monday and Tuesday nights getting totally fucked up, and essentially living my life as I understand and love it.
Should it concern me that my state of living could be drastically improved if I started things sooner, spent more time working on them, creating quality product rather than mediocre drivel? Probably. Am I actually concerned with my routine though? Hell no I'm not. I don't have aspirations to be GREAT, I don't strive to create things that will make me memorable. I don't even particularly care if I am remembered once I'm gone. However, if I am to be remembered, I wish to be remembered as a loving, caring, and fun individual, not a workaholic, distant, and cold person. The 15 days I spend being seemingly counter productive mean infinitely more to me than the 15 hours I spend creating a piece-of-shit C+ assignment.
I'm not out to make a name for myself in this world, I'm out to make a name for myself in MY world! I don't feel a need to justify myself to everyone out there, I am who I am for my own reasons, and if that pisses you off for some reason, or makes you look down on me, then for obvious reasons, you aren't part of MY world :). I love everyone as much as I can, but I certainly am not going to spend my time and effort trying to become the kind of person someone else wants me to be. I accept everyone I meet for who they are (not who they tell me they are, but who they actually present themselves to me) and would never ask of anyone something I didn't think they could do or something I knew they wouldn't normally do. For this reason, it seems perfectly acceptable for me to expect the same courtesies from others.
I think I'm losing focus on the topic I started out on, so I'm going to end this now before I wind up talking about something ridiculous, but as homework, I expect those of you who read this to consider to what extent you hold your guard up, to what extent you augment your personality for the people you see regularly, and moreso, how you augment your personality for the people you see every once in a while (think about what happens when your grandparents visit, how your parents act, how you act...how different do you think your grandparents are acting from their reality?) Questions like these make a difference in life.
Leave comments my children, I love comments!
Should it concern me that my state of living could be drastically improved if I started things sooner, spent more time working on them, creating quality product rather than mediocre drivel? Probably. Am I actually concerned with my routine though? Hell no I'm not. I don't have aspirations to be GREAT, I don't strive to create things that will make me memorable. I don't even particularly care if I am remembered once I'm gone. However, if I am to be remembered, I wish to be remembered as a loving, caring, and fun individual, not a workaholic, distant, and cold person. The 15 days I spend being seemingly counter productive mean infinitely more to me than the 15 hours I spend creating a piece-of-shit C+ assignment.
I'm not out to make a name for myself in this world, I'm out to make a name for myself in MY world! I don't feel a need to justify myself to everyone out there, I am who I am for my own reasons, and if that pisses you off for some reason, or makes you look down on me, then for obvious reasons, you aren't part of MY world :). I love everyone as much as I can, but I certainly am not going to spend my time and effort trying to become the kind of person someone else wants me to be. I accept everyone I meet for who they are (not who they tell me they are, but who they actually present themselves to me) and would never ask of anyone something I didn't think they could do or something I knew they wouldn't normally do. For this reason, it seems perfectly acceptable for me to expect the same courtesies from others.
I think I'm losing focus on the topic I started out on, so I'm going to end this now before I wind up talking about something ridiculous, but as homework, I expect those of you who read this to consider to what extent you hold your guard up, to what extent you augment your personality for the people you see regularly, and moreso, how you augment your personality for the people you see every once in a while (think about what happens when your grandparents visit, how your parents act, how you act...how different do you think your grandparents are acting from their reality?) Questions like these make a difference in life.
Leave comments my children, I love comments!
Monday, February 19, 2007
Vanishing...
So, I've been thinking lately about the concept of a vanishing point. Anyone familiar with art, portraits, and things of that nature, is probably familiar with the vanishing point. It's simply the idea that as an observer standing at a point gazing off into the distance, all lines converge to one point on the horizon, the vanishing point. I suppose the best example could be a distant star; from out perspective, this star is infinitesimal, but modern astronomy tells us that if the star is visible from our location in the universe, it must be HUGE. From a distance, everything converges to one small point.
As I think about this vanishing point, it occurs to me to think of straight lines that run on to infinity in both directions (in front of and behind us). Looking one way or the other along these lines leads to an interesting discovery. Although these lines converge in front of us, they appear to splay out as they continue on behind us. Turning around, of course, will not confirm this hypothesis, as it changes the vanishing point, but from what you are observing, your mind has every reason to believe that everything behind you is much much bigger than you are.
Why does this interest me? I can only say that there are things about my past (behind me) that I'm not very happy about, things I've spent a lot of time meditating on to gain meaning and move on from. If we consider time as a ride in which we can only face and move forward, everything ahead of us (the future) gets smaller the farther forward we look. For instance, the test I have in less than an hour looms quite large directly in front of me, whereas settling down and raising a family seems to be an incredibly small concern to me at the moment.
What then can be said about the events in my past? I know that when I look back at the events in my past, they seem small and nearly forgotten, but when I turn around and try to face forward, my past seems magnified and all I'm able to see is me making the same mistakes over and over again. I'm working hard to become the intelligent, thoughtful, loving person I know I have the potential to be, but sometimes all the work gets hard, and I revert back to my old ways.
I think I could benefit from stepping way outside my comfort zone, changing things up drastically. Do what Chris and Davy have done, go to a completely foreign culture and see what it's like setting up roots there. That's what I'm working towards, but I really want to get out of school first. All this Computer Science bullshit is beginning to overwhelm me. I need to get out and change things up. I wouldn't say that I'm happy with where I am, but I'm becoming complacent, settling in to my surroundings. Whether I like it or not though, things are going to change pretty drastically after another year. I just need to figure out what my next step is going to be I guess...
I'm going to get a taste for traveling this spring break. The plan is currently to leave sometime around 3 in the afternoon on Saturday, March 3rd (3PM on 3/3?) and head west. I don't know how far we'll get, or what we'll see, but the only plan is to be back in Asheville by Friday, March 9th. I think, as far as I can tell, the only people going on this trip are Chris, Michelle, and myself, and there's no telling what will happen on the way, but I'm glad to be getting away for my break instead of going home to try to make plans to see all my friends, none of which will actually have time for me because they too are busy as hell trying to keep up appearances back home and make plans to see other friends.
Here's to adventure! Here's to the future! And here's to getting over the past!
Be good my children, and safe...but not too safe ;)
As I think about this vanishing point, it occurs to me to think of straight lines that run on to infinity in both directions (in front of and behind us). Looking one way or the other along these lines leads to an interesting discovery. Although these lines converge in front of us, they appear to splay out as they continue on behind us. Turning around, of course, will not confirm this hypothesis, as it changes the vanishing point, but from what you are observing, your mind has every reason to believe that everything behind you is much much bigger than you are.
Why does this interest me? I can only say that there are things about my past (behind me) that I'm not very happy about, things I've spent a lot of time meditating on to gain meaning and move on from. If we consider time as a ride in which we can only face and move forward, everything ahead of us (the future) gets smaller the farther forward we look. For instance, the test I have in less than an hour looms quite large directly in front of me, whereas settling down and raising a family seems to be an incredibly small concern to me at the moment.
What then can be said about the events in my past? I know that when I look back at the events in my past, they seem small and nearly forgotten, but when I turn around and try to face forward, my past seems magnified and all I'm able to see is me making the same mistakes over and over again. I'm working hard to become the intelligent, thoughtful, loving person I know I have the potential to be, but sometimes all the work gets hard, and I revert back to my old ways.
I think I could benefit from stepping way outside my comfort zone, changing things up drastically. Do what Chris and Davy have done, go to a completely foreign culture and see what it's like setting up roots there. That's what I'm working towards, but I really want to get out of school first. All this Computer Science bullshit is beginning to overwhelm me. I need to get out and change things up. I wouldn't say that I'm happy with where I am, but I'm becoming complacent, settling in to my surroundings. Whether I like it or not though, things are going to change pretty drastically after another year. I just need to figure out what my next step is going to be I guess...
I'm going to get a taste for traveling this spring break. The plan is currently to leave sometime around 3 in the afternoon on Saturday, March 3rd (3PM on 3/3?) and head west. I don't know how far we'll get, or what we'll see, but the only plan is to be back in Asheville by Friday, March 9th. I think, as far as I can tell, the only people going on this trip are Chris, Michelle, and myself, and there's no telling what will happen on the way, but I'm glad to be getting away for my break instead of going home to try to make plans to see all my friends, none of which will actually have time for me because they too are busy as hell trying to keep up appearances back home and make plans to see other friends.
Here's to adventure! Here's to the future! And here's to getting over the past!
Be good my children, and safe...but not too safe ;)
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