Vanishing...

So, I've been thinking lately about the concept of a vanishing point. Anyone familiar with art, portraits, and things of that nature, is probably familiar with the vanishing point. It's simply the idea that as an observer standing at a point gazing off into the distance, all lines converge to one point on the horizon, the vanishing point. I suppose the best example could be a distant star; from out perspective, this star is infinitesimal, but modern astronomy tells us that if the star is visible from our location in the universe, it must be HUGE. From a distance, everything converges to one small point.

As I think about this vanishing point, it occurs to me to think of straight lines that run on to infinity in both directions (in front of and behind us). Looking one way or the other along these lines leads to an interesting discovery. Although these lines converge in front of us, they appear to splay out as they continue on behind us. Turning around, of course, will not confirm this hypothesis, as it changes the vanishing point, but from what you are observing, your mind has every reason to believe that everything behind you is much much bigger than you are.

Why does this interest me? I can only say that there are things about my past (behind me) that I'm not very happy about, things I've spent a lot of time meditating on to gain meaning and move on from. If we consider time as a ride in which we can only face and move forward, everything ahead of us (the future) gets smaller the farther forward we look. For instance, the test I have in less than an hour looms quite large directly in front of me, whereas settling down and raising a family seems to be an incredibly small concern to me at the moment.

What then can be said about the events in my past? I know that when I look back at the events in my past, they seem small and nearly forgotten, but when I turn around and try to face forward, my past seems magnified and all I'm able to see is me making the same mistakes over and over again. I'm working hard to become the intelligent, thoughtful, loving person I know I have the potential to be, but sometimes all the work gets hard, and I revert back to my old ways.

I think I could benefit from stepping way outside my comfort zone, changing things up drastically. Do what Chris and Davy have done, go to a completely foreign culture and see what it's like setting up roots there. That's what I'm working towards, but I really want to get out of school first. All this Computer Science bullshit is beginning to overwhelm me. I need to get out and change things up. I wouldn't say that I'm happy with where I am, but I'm becoming complacent, settling in to my surroundings. Whether I like it or not though, things are going to change pretty drastically after another year. I just need to figure out what my next step is going to be I guess...

I'm going to get a taste for traveling this spring break. The plan is currently to leave sometime around 3 in the afternoon on Saturday, March 3rd (3PM on 3/3?) and head west. I don't know how far we'll get, or what we'll see, but the only plan is to be back in Asheville by Friday, March 9th. I think, as far as I can tell, the only people going on this trip are Chris, Michelle, and myself, and there's no telling what will happen on the way, but I'm glad to be getting away for my break instead of going home to try to make plans to see all my friends, none of which will actually have time for me because they too are busy as hell trying to keep up appearances back home and make plans to see other friends.

Here's to adventure! Here's to the future! And here's to getting over the past!

Be good my children, and safe...but not too safe ;)