"Why are we here?"
I've heard this question an awful lot in my short little life. It's an obsession for some, finding the answer to the ultimate question. Many have devoted their life to the sciences, examining every inch of our universe looking for clues as to how we came into existence. More still have devoted their life to religion, seeking divine truth through meditation and faith. I don't want to say that any of these people are wrong; in fact, I fancy myself a truth seeker as well. The problem is, I don't think the meaning of life is something we can quantify through science or qualify through faith.
Perhaps Douglas Adams was the closest to the true meaning of life after all. For those of you who aren't familiar with him, Adams is the author of the infamous Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy (in five parts) and suggested that the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything is simply 42. A nonsensical answer at best, how can all of existence be summed up in a single number? The problem with Adams' theory, of course, is that he was never able to figure out the question. I can think of many questions that have the answer of 42, however none seem to come anywhere near encapsulating the entirety of life or the universe.
To be fair, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a complete work of fiction, and to base my findings on a piece of literature that has no bearing in reality (which I shall have to define later) is probably the silliest thing I could do. However, it is not so much Douglas Adams' answer that I am interested in but more the ridiculous nature of it. You see, in my opinion, he could have chosen anything to be the answer in his fictitious universe, and I believe he was aware of that. The answer simply wasn't important to him, and fiction or not, the answer shouldn't be important to you.
Life is hard, most definitely, and many find it difficult to make it from one day to the next without the added comfort of meaning. The problem I see with this is, there is an awful lot of squabbling between the different factions of society over what exactly that meaning is. So many of us are sure that we have already found the answer, or that our way of getting to the answer is the only true way. As I see it, the answer doesn't matter. The answer is complete nonsense anyway. Any answer that any of us could possibly come up with is going to be utterly ridiculous when it's all said and done.
So what is it that we have here when we strip away the gods, the afterlife, the science, the mysticism, and all the bickering this way and that?
I think we hide in religions and scientific gibberish. I think we put too much stock in what others tell us to be true. I'm not saying that we should turn our backs on the church and burn all the scientists. These things are security blankets, and for many of us, it's all we have. What I am saying is, rather than taking all these things at face value, we should be doing our part to define meaning. Not the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, but meaning for us.
What I'm saying, my children, is that the question we should be asking is not, "Why are we here?" Instead, a question you should ask yourself every single day is, "Why am I here?" You may find, at first, that this question is a difficult one to answer. Try thinking more specifically, for instance, don't ask, "Why am I in this universe?" or, "Why am I on planet Earth?" The key to this exercise is baby steps. Let's start with, "Why am I in this city?" If you can't answer that, try something like, "Why am I in this room?" or perhaps, "Why am I reading this loser's blog?" In time, the specifics will bring meaning to the bigger picture.
Leave comments children, you know I love comments.
<3 Me
Monday, March 26, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
My collection...
In general, I lack faith in humanity. It seems to me that far too many of us take for granted the countless privileges we are granted in this world. Many explanations exist as to why we are where we are today, ranging from religion to Darwinian evolution. Personally, I like to believe that it is sheer dumb luck that any of us was blinked into existence, doubly so at this point in time and space. I don't really believe that we deserve any of what we have when the other creatures get by without means of automobiles or massive sky scrapers.
I say again that this is a rather generalized statement. There are, of course, many people out there doing their best to live humbly and take only what they need from the world around them, and I applaud them. I'm certainly no shimmering star, as I currently drive a big-ass van that gets less than 20 miles to the gallon and rarely take the initiative to carpool. I do my best to get as much use out of my resources as I can though, and I appreciate those of you that do the same.
With this in mind, I have been contemplating skills, and their practical purposes. Everyone is blessed with skills in some area or another. Most people posses what is referred to as marketable skills, things you're good at that can earn you a few dimes. Skills such as these can get you far in our market-driven society, and if you use them well, you can make millions. There are other skills though, skills that aren't so monetarily rewarding. These skills can take you just as far as, if not farther than, the marketable ones; it's just a matter of how you use them.
So what skills do I posses then? I'm good with computers, fascinated by numbers, I like taking things apart to see how they work and then trying to put them back together again. These skills are no longer interesting to me though. What interests me is my ability to read people, to look beyond the exterior and see what's inside. I guess in a way I take people apart to see how they work. Let me elaborate:
When I'm at school, I'm surrounded by a sea of people who are absorbed in their appearance. Narcissism runs rampant on NCState's campus and in some ways it's refreshing and in others it makes me a little bit sick to my stomach. Now, this self appreciation can be found in most other places, after all, no place is perfect. And to be fair, the benefits are very nice, in a society so totally centered on looks, the girls are HOT, almost every single one of them. I'll see a girl that makes my head spin and then walk 2 paces and see another one, they are literally everywhere. That's right, hotties are a dime a dozen down here in the triangle, the only caveat is that to snag one, you have to be pretty fucking Narcissistic yourself.
At home, things are very different. At home, everything is beautiful. Now, beauty and hotness are not the same thing at all. As a matter of fact, if I took some friends from school home to Asheville with me, they might not see a single girl that even remotely interested them. This is because many of the girls in Asheville don't care about being hooked by some cute guy, they aren't madly in love with themselves, and the certainly don't need you lusting after them. They are, however, some of the most beautiful creatures I have ever met.
Hot is an intensely superficial term, and anyone who takes it as a compliment is an intensely superficial person. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's nice to feel hot, sometimes you want to be lusted after, sometimes the attention is nice, but hot should not be a 24/7 endeavor. Beauty transcends the surface, beauty is a measure of your personality and (should you believe in such a thing) your soul. When I go home, all of the Blue Ridge Mountain Range resonates with beauty, and I am in bliss. When I return to my big city school with its big city people, I die a little bit inside, and it takes me a while to recognize the hotties, because they spend so much time trying to cover up the mistakes they've made and the regrets they have with make up that their beauty has been lost and forgotten.
So what am I doing with my skills? Because after all, what good is a skill if you don't use it properly? I collect the beautiful people. That's right, some of you have coin collections, or card collections, or pet collections. Me, I couldn't care less about those things, far too tangible, far too constant. I collect people, I see the beauty in people, I warm myself with the beauty of people, and I don't really care how marketable or non-marketable this skill of mine is. It keeps me warm, it keeps me sane, it keeps me happy.
I'll leave you with something to consider. I came to school in August of '05 after a rather miserable summer in which my girlfriend dumped me and I spent the entire time working and having almost no fun at all. The first people I met were the RAs for my floor in my residence hall. One was Sara, who was actually my RA, living in the suite next to mine. The other was Michelle, who was from the other end of the hall. Sara was a sweet innocent Mormon girl with the body of a goddess and did her best to be a good RA to me. Michelle was abrasive, somewhat bitter, and very sarcastic, and upon realizing that I was actually Sara's resident, didn't really make much of an effort to impress me. Of the two, I was attracted to Michelle the most because I could feel her warmth. She wanted nothing to do with me (which I later discovered was due to the fact that she's a lesbian) for quite some time but I pursued, regardless. I'm madly in love with Michelle and she's the best friend I have at school right now because I had to get to know her, because her beauty is so warm and refreshing in this miserable god-forsaken town.
With that in mind, I encourage you all to find BEAUTY wherever you are, and try not to get too blinded by all the hotties ;-)
<3 Me
I say again that this is a rather generalized statement. There are, of course, many people out there doing their best to live humbly and take only what they need from the world around them, and I applaud them. I'm certainly no shimmering star, as I currently drive a big-ass van that gets less than 20 miles to the gallon and rarely take the initiative to carpool. I do my best to get as much use out of my resources as I can though, and I appreciate those of you that do the same.
With this in mind, I have been contemplating skills, and their practical purposes. Everyone is blessed with skills in some area or another. Most people posses what is referred to as marketable skills, things you're good at that can earn you a few dimes. Skills such as these can get you far in our market-driven society, and if you use them well, you can make millions. There are other skills though, skills that aren't so monetarily rewarding. These skills can take you just as far as, if not farther than, the marketable ones; it's just a matter of how you use them.
So what skills do I posses then? I'm good with computers, fascinated by numbers, I like taking things apart to see how they work and then trying to put them back together again. These skills are no longer interesting to me though. What interests me is my ability to read people, to look beyond the exterior and see what's inside. I guess in a way I take people apart to see how they work. Let me elaborate:
When I'm at school, I'm surrounded by a sea of people who are absorbed in their appearance. Narcissism runs rampant on NCState's campus and in some ways it's refreshing and in others it makes me a little bit sick to my stomach. Now, this self appreciation can be found in most other places, after all, no place is perfect. And to be fair, the benefits are very nice, in a society so totally centered on looks, the girls are HOT, almost every single one of them. I'll see a girl that makes my head spin and then walk 2 paces and see another one, they are literally everywhere. That's right, hotties are a dime a dozen down here in the triangle, the only caveat is that to snag one, you have to be pretty fucking Narcissistic yourself.
At home, things are very different. At home, everything is beautiful. Now, beauty and hotness are not the same thing at all. As a matter of fact, if I took some friends from school home to Asheville with me, they might not see a single girl that even remotely interested them. This is because many of the girls in Asheville don't care about being hooked by some cute guy, they aren't madly in love with themselves, and the certainly don't need you lusting after them. They are, however, some of the most beautiful creatures I have ever met.
Hot is an intensely superficial term, and anyone who takes it as a compliment is an intensely superficial person. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's nice to feel hot, sometimes you want to be lusted after, sometimes the attention is nice, but hot should not be a 24/7 endeavor. Beauty transcends the surface, beauty is a measure of your personality and (should you believe in such a thing) your soul. When I go home, all of the Blue Ridge Mountain Range resonates with beauty, and I am in bliss. When I return to my big city school with its big city people, I die a little bit inside, and it takes me a while to recognize the hotties, because they spend so much time trying to cover up the mistakes they've made and the regrets they have with make up that their beauty has been lost and forgotten.
So what am I doing with my skills? Because after all, what good is a skill if you don't use it properly? I collect the beautiful people. That's right, some of you have coin collections, or card collections, or pet collections. Me, I couldn't care less about those things, far too tangible, far too constant. I collect people, I see the beauty in people, I warm myself with the beauty of people, and I don't really care how marketable or non-marketable this skill of mine is. It keeps me warm, it keeps me sane, it keeps me happy.
I'll leave you with something to consider. I came to school in August of '05 after a rather miserable summer in which my girlfriend dumped me and I spent the entire time working and having almost no fun at all. The first people I met were the RAs for my floor in my residence hall. One was Sara, who was actually my RA, living in the suite next to mine. The other was Michelle, who was from the other end of the hall. Sara was a sweet innocent Mormon girl with the body of a goddess and did her best to be a good RA to me. Michelle was abrasive, somewhat bitter, and very sarcastic, and upon realizing that I was actually Sara's resident, didn't really make much of an effort to impress me. Of the two, I was attracted to Michelle the most because I could feel her warmth. She wanted nothing to do with me (which I later discovered was due to the fact that she's a lesbian) for quite some time but I pursued, regardless. I'm madly in love with Michelle and she's the best friend I have at school right now because I had to get to know her, because her beauty is so warm and refreshing in this miserable god-forsaken town.
With that in mind, I encourage you all to find BEAUTY wherever you are, and try not to get too blinded by all the hotties ;-)
<3 Me
Monday, March 12, 2007
On Traveling with Friends
Holy crap, what a ridiculous ride I have been on. 3000 miles in 9 days? That's an average though, my god, I can't believe I made a 2700 mile trip in 6 days! A few notes on my adventures:
First, let me say that this trip could not have happened at all if it weren't for the adventurous nature of my friends and the endless charity that I receive from my family on so many occasions. I'm amazed at how much of my shit my friends are able to put up with, and similarly, quite amazed at how much of my friends I'm able to put up with. I think we're at least wiser having taken this trip, and it has helped us to grow. I appreciate the willingness of my friends to hop in a very sketchy vehicle with me and take off into the middle of nowhere without any plans of where to sleep or eat or when our next shower may be. It was in this way that we set out from Raleigh with extremely high hopes and adventure running through our veins.
Everything went pretty smooth I think, but as with every undertaking there were some proverbial bumps in the road. We basically didn't plan this thing out at all, and any plans we did make weren't anywhere near concrete. This lead to a diet of basically nothing but Waffle House which, long about the 4th day of roadtrippin, I was sick as hell of, but "The Team", as we have named ourselves, had plans to hit a WaHo in every state we traveled through. We missed Arkansas, we had plans to hit one in the last 10 or 20 miles before the border...as it turns out, there isn't a Waffle House in Arkansas before about mile marker 30 which we were unaware of until we were already in Texas. We also missed Mississippi, which is silly, because several of the exits in Mississippi had 2 Waffle Houses at them! We had also eaten just inside the Louisiana border so we weren't hungry for MORE Waffle House until we stopped in Alabama that night. We also missed South Carolina, mainly because we were ready to be home with hot showers and stationary seats, but also because at this point, the rest of "The Team" was beginning to share my sentiments about WaHo. Nevertheless, we ate at 9 different Waffle Houses over the course of the one week vacation, and I'll be happy if I never see another one as long as I live.
The other aspect of this trip that made things really interesting was a lack of sleeping plans. We crashed at my family's place in Asheville the first night even though we were supposed to make it to Knoxville (oops) , then we drove 9 hours from Asheville to Memphis so we could be back on schedule the next day. We ended up in a truck stop in West Memphis, Arkansas the second night (that's right, West Memphis is in Arkansas, not Tennessee as you might have guessed) as my contacts in Memphis didn't even try to get in touch with me after several attempts on my part. The third night is a story in its own right. We had gotten in touch with my mom's brother John about a place to stay, and got some very sketchy directions which resulted in driving around Farmersville, Texas, totally lost, at 11pm. I was ok with this, I've never really had a problem with being "lost", I just continue making guesses until I see something that looks familiar. Chris and Michelle were having none of this and eventually we ended up at a gas station talking to some friendly locals who told us how to get to the county road we were looking for and at 11:30 we finally found my Aunt Sharon's farm. The hot shower at their place was TOTALLY worth the 45 minutes of driving aimlessly around Texas looking for any of the numbers on the directions Uncle John gave me. In my opinion Farmersville/Dallas was the absolute greatest part of the trip.
Chris' roommate from Hong Kong lives in San Antonio, so we crashed at his place the next night, and then spent the next two nights at truck stops before returning to my family's house on Friday.
I think I may have had too much driving planned for the trip, as it felt like we were speading through every place we stopped. We spent the most time in Dallas, San Antonio, and New Orleans just walking around, looking at the BEAUTIFUL architecture. I am dumbfounded at how many fountains are in the state of Texas (especially after being informed by my Aunt that they are in a drought). Still, this was definitely the GREATEST experience of my entire life and I'm so glad I took the trip. I look forward to more adventures in the future, hopefully with more/different people. Everyone should get out and explore this ridiculous nation that we live in, because how in the world can you speak about the people of the United States of America when you don't even know who you're talking about? How can you talk about the 50 states of the Union if you've only ever been to 3 of them? I don't consider myself an expert by any means, but my ratio is improving, and maybe some day I'll know what it means to be from Nebraska, or Alaska, or Minnesota!
Here's to adventure! And here's hoping that all of you are able to take your own some day very soon!
<3 Me
First, let me say that this trip could not have happened at all if it weren't for the adventurous nature of my friends and the endless charity that I receive from my family on so many occasions. I'm amazed at how much of my shit my friends are able to put up with, and similarly, quite amazed at how much of my friends I'm able to put up with. I think we're at least wiser having taken this trip, and it has helped us to grow. I appreciate the willingness of my friends to hop in a very sketchy vehicle with me and take off into the middle of nowhere without any plans of where to sleep or eat or when our next shower may be. It was in this way that we set out from Raleigh with extremely high hopes and adventure running through our veins.
Everything went pretty smooth I think, but as with every undertaking there were some proverbial bumps in the road. We basically didn't plan this thing out at all, and any plans we did make weren't anywhere near concrete. This lead to a diet of basically nothing but Waffle House which, long about the 4th day of roadtrippin, I was sick as hell of, but "The Team", as we have named ourselves, had plans to hit a WaHo in every state we traveled through. We missed Arkansas, we had plans to hit one in the last 10 or 20 miles before the border...as it turns out, there isn't a Waffle House in Arkansas before about mile marker 30 which we were unaware of until we were already in Texas. We also missed Mississippi, which is silly, because several of the exits in Mississippi had 2 Waffle Houses at them! We had also eaten just inside the Louisiana border so we weren't hungry for MORE Waffle House until we stopped in Alabama that night. We also missed South Carolina, mainly because we were ready to be home with hot showers and stationary seats, but also because at this point, the rest of "The Team" was beginning to share my sentiments about WaHo. Nevertheless, we ate at 9 different Waffle Houses over the course of the one week vacation, and I'll be happy if I never see another one as long as I live.
The other aspect of this trip that made things really interesting was a lack of sleeping plans. We crashed at my family's place in Asheville the first night even though we were supposed to make it to Knoxville (oops) , then we drove 9 hours from Asheville to Memphis so we could be back on schedule the next day. We ended up in a truck stop in West Memphis, Arkansas the second night (that's right, West Memphis is in Arkansas, not Tennessee as you might have guessed) as my contacts in Memphis didn't even try to get in touch with me after several attempts on my part. The third night is a story in its own right. We had gotten in touch with my mom's brother John about a place to stay, and got some very sketchy directions which resulted in driving around Farmersville, Texas, totally lost, at 11pm. I was ok with this, I've never really had a problem with being "lost", I just continue making guesses until I see something that looks familiar. Chris and Michelle were having none of this and eventually we ended up at a gas station talking to some friendly locals who told us how to get to the county road we were looking for and at 11:30 we finally found my Aunt Sharon's farm. The hot shower at their place was TOTALLY worth the 45 minutes of driving aimlessly around Texas looking for any of the numbers on the directions Uncle John gave me. In my opinion Farmersville/Dallas was the absolute greatest part of the trip.
Chris' roommate from Hong Kong lives in San Antonio, so we crashed at his place the next night, and then spent the next two nights at truck stops before returning to my family's house on Friday.
I think I may have had too much driving planned for the trip, as it felt like we were speading through every place we stopped. We spent the most time in Dallas, San Antonio, and New Orleans just walking around, looking at the BEAUTIFUL architecture. I am dumbfounded at how many fountains are in the state of Texas (especially after being informed by my Aunt that they are in a drought). Still, this was definitely the GREATEST experience of my entire life and I'm so glad I took the trip. I look forward to more adventures in the future, hopefully with more/different people. Everyone should get out and explore this ridiculous nation that we live in, because how in the world can you speak about the people of the United States of America when you don't even know who you're talking about? How can you talk about the 50 states of the Union if you've only ever been to 3 of them? I don't consider myself an expert by any means, but my ratio is improving, and maybe some day I'll know what it means to be from Nebraska, or Alaska, or Minnesota!
Here's to adventure! And here's hoping that all of you are able to take your own some day very soon!
<3 Me
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